“Bring me some rum, mezcal and cigarettes and we’ll talk. Dress sexy.” This was the message delivered to us by Saint Maximón. It was on.

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House of Maximón is the illegitimate devil child of the owners of Eurotrash and Berlin Bar. They’ve created a neon-lit saloon where debauchery and alcohol are rampant. After all, Maximón is the saint of all things sinful, and therefore all things fun.

At the top of the stairs you’ll be met by two taxidermy chickens in glass boxes and an image of woman staring lovingly into the eyes of a Guatemalan zombie with the word ‘love’ displayed in neon lights. It only gets creepier. Bone chandeliers hang above a wooden table crafted from church pews. Around the corner, circular booths are presided over by the torso and head of a once-breathing bull, whose horns are adorned with golden skeletons. Day of the Dead-esque portraits are given an eerie neon twist and an array of Guatemalan souvenirs are scattered around the cavernous space. We especially love the glass gun tequila bottle.

House of Maximón is a wicked den full of temptation and indulgence. You simply can’t say ‘no’. Soon you’ll be able to book one of two exclusive rooms for eight, complete with a custom-made bar fridge stocked full of booze. You’ll probably want to venture out once in a while for some late night dancing to sexy lounge tunes, spun by a DJ in a decorative iron cage, complete with watchful biblical statues.

At this modern dive bar, you can nourish what’s left of your soul with cold cured meats, seasonal pintox platters, spiced popcorn and nachos. Maximón even has a cheese dispenser, which is either pure genius or pure evil. Wash it all down with some voodoo sangria or michelada (beer Bloody Marys). There’s also beer and cider on tap but you’d be loco not to try an imported Mexican brew or tequila. For vodka so smooth it is surely crafted by Diablo himself, get the bartender to pour you a shot from the crystal skull.

House of Maximón is a sneak peek into the afterlife. After visiting this portal of delicious corruption, we’ll be avoiding heaven at all costs. Join us.

Location: 16-18 Corrs Lane, Melbourne
Open: Wed-Thu 5pm-1am |Fri 2pm-2am | Sat-Sun 7pm-2am (Sun industry only)
Phone: (03) 9650 7663
Details: houseofmaximon.com.au/