As you know, the Art Series Hotel Group recently gave guests the opportunity to steal an artwork by British street artist, Banksy. As you may not know, someone already pulled it off. Now, a new limited edition print, Pulp Fiction, is literally “up for grabs.” But how does one pull off a heist of Thomas Crown proportions? Agenda has compiled the top five ways to get away with grand theft Banksy.

1. Gather as many willing mates as you can and at the sound of an air horn, strip to your birthday suits and run around the hotel. In the resulting confusion and shock, sneak the print outside.

2. Get 10 friends to stand in front of the print with a covered, framed copy. At your signal, uncover the copies and have someone swap the real one with their fake one. Exit with haste, and not through the gift shop.

3. Pretend to have lost your room key and ask for another at reception. While this is being done, drop two smoke bombs. Help the staff to safety while a friend removes the print and makes a run for it.

4. Pose as an art expert or a student doing a project on Banksy. Adopt an air of confidence and claim at reception that you need to take the painting out the front to be photographed. If they don’t trust you, leave your wallet at the desk as a deposit or bribe a staff member to be your alibi.

5. Hire a celebrity to distract the hotel staff. Don’t opt for footballers; no one really gives a drop punt about them during summer, but there are plenty of tennis players in Melbourne at the moment. Alternatively, abduct Geoffrey Rush from one of his Camberwell strolls and bribe him to be your accomplice with a treasure chest of gold.

Stay the night. Find the art. Steal the art. Don’t get caught. It’s simple. And as Banksy said himself, “If at first you don’t succeed, call an air strike.”

Location: either The Cullen, 164 Commercial Road, Prahran; or The Olsen, 637-641 Chapel Street, South Yarra; or The Blackman, 452 St. Kilda Road, Melbourne.
When: Until Jan 15
Details: artserieshotels.com.au/stealbanksy
Hints: Follow the Art Series Hotels on Twitter (@ArtSeriesHotels) and Facebook.